


listen before i go

by uphorea



Series: WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, BAMF Hermione Granger, BAMF Lily Evans, BAMF Luna Lovegood, Being Rewritten, F/F, F/M, Faerie Courts, Good Draco Malfoy, Good Slytherins, Lily Evans Potter Lives, M/M, Original Fey Characters, Powerful Harry Potter, Remus Lupin gets happiness, Royalty, Sirius Black Lives, Summer Court, The Fae, Violence, Voldemort is a little shit, Winter Court, Wizarding Politics, so does Sirius
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:35:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21689218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uphorea/pseuds/uphorea
Summary: Harry returns to the Dursleys for the summer after his disastrous fourth year. Grieving and lonely, Harry suffers horrible abuse at the Dursley's, ending in his death.In which Harry Potter dies... or did he?
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563538
Kudos: 14





	1. take me to the rooftop

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic so please don’t judge me. Also I’m typing this on my phone so sorry for the mistakes
> 
> EDIT: DEC.03/2020
> 
> Aight its been a doozy of a year. Honestly between covid and family issues, I forgot about this fic. But i'm back from the dead, so just a quick update. I decided to rework the plot. I like the main idea past me thought of but I decided to completely change shit around... lmao. I might repost this in time for the 1 year anniversary, but I am a shit writer who gets distracted easily with other projects. Might also write a naruto/hp crossover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of an OC that is apart of a future fic, but she will have a book of her own that will explain her story
> 
> *Used to be on wattpad and i loved the author Kittybell i think her user name was but this series will be kind of in that format, i hope.

Ch.1 - take me to the rooftop

The year ended, like it always did. Students lagged and joked about exams. The sun shined, the birds sang, the giant squid swam in it’s lake. Teachers smiled at the students boarding the train. The trolly witch loaded her cart with a smile for every student. The students of Hogwarts said goodbye and hoped for a better year next year.

The world kept turning, despite the horrible events. Even after Harry’s stopped. He couldn’t just move on. A life ended. He watched life fade from a body. A boy’s life actually stopped. No longer would Cedric wish, or dream, or hope, hate, love, feel pain or happiness. Cedric just stopped being. He wouldn’t get to graduate Hogwarts or get married, see his sister graduate, meet his children or grandchildren. He would be forgotten, just a footnote in history, and no one would remember the kind and loyal child, because that’s what he was- a child. Voldemort ended the life of a boy with a bright future, a boy with hopes and dreams that would now never come true.

His screams of agony were only drowned out by Cedric’s sister. Nothing was more horrifying than her scream and sobbing. He can’t get those screams out of his head. Or Bella’s face. Or Amos Diggory’s cries for his son to wake up. He felt Bella and Amos grab Cedric’s cold dead body. Somewhere deep in his brain, behind the grief and sadness, he remembered reading about how the body becomes cold and pale after death. Because the heart no longer pumps warm blood through the body.

The train ride back was a blur. He ended up in the back of Vernon’s car. Not even a week after Cedric’s death and he is sent back to back to the Dursley’s, like a relic to put away on the shelf until the next time he can be put to use. He couldn’t even remember Cedric’s funeral. Did people cry? Did he cry? People loved Cedric. He loved Cedric. Everyone loved Cedric because he was kind to everyone no matter their house or blood. He actually believed Harry.

Somehow he ended up in the smallest bedroom in Number 4 Privet Drive. Hedwig was on the ledge near his window letting out soft hoots. Momentarily nudging his arm to get him to drink water or eat some bread. Nothing really mattered anymore. He’s not needed, eventually someone will want their golden boy to dance for them. Maybe he will. Maybe he will play the part of a hero or villain, or a cautionary tale to the young witch or wizard. No matter his pain or grief he would get up and smile and play the part of their Boy-Who-Lived to please the people.

He spent the first week just laying in bed crying. Not loud sobbing like when the cup brought back to a stadium full of cheering people. Not the like the cries of Cedric’s mother when she saw her baby boys cold dead body. No, he cried silently, no sound escaped him. He mourned in silence for the boy who wouldn’t get to live. He already lost the little weight he got from his 4th year at Hogwarts. After his 3rd day crying, he felt too numb to do anything but lay on his bed. He had no energy to do much but lay on his bed.

He couldn’t tell minutes apart from days, days from weeks. He hardly noticed the banging, just staring at the peeling wallpaper on the wall across from his mattress. It wasn’t particularly pretty wallpaper. Just a simple blue, with faded stars on them. The spot where it began to peel had the brightest star. Focusing on the wallpaper distracted him from the noise outside his bubble that was his room. In this space surrounded by blue and stars and peeling wallpaper there was no death or pain.

He didn’t react to the wood hitting his cheek when his angry uncle broke his door open. He didn’t react when his uncle began yelling at him. Saying horrible things. He didn’t seem to notice his aunt staring in quiet horror as his uncle grabbed his arm and pulled him roughly off his bed just wanting a reaction to his anger.

Harry immediately fell to the floor, too weak to even stand. He didn’t try to stand up or defend himself. He deserved the sure beating he will probably receive by his angry uncle. Maybe he just wanted to feel something, anything.

The first thing he felt in over a week was his uncles foot to his chest. Ribs cracked, his head hit the ground hard, he didn’t bother to protect himself. The kicks kept coming. Stomach, chest, legs, head, they all took a beating. The pain was a welcome change. No more numbness or cold. It felt like fire spreading up and down his weak body. Something about the pain helped him. Like water rushing over him and cleaning his brain of the fog that made its residence up there.

It felt like hours before the panic set in. When his chest struggled to rise and fall.

He couldn’t breathe, he can’t see. It hurts. Is that him crying? Copper and salt is what he tastes. His brain is slow and scattered. He can’t think, but it’s never been clearer. I’m dying, he thinks. No he knows. It’s ok though. The pain of Cedric’s death is gone. He is mildly aware of his uncle yelling. Maybe he said something about an ambulance. But it doesn’t matter. It’s too late.

He’s dying, his breath is hardly coming now. His heart is too slow, struggling to beat.

He thinks, he’ll miss his friends. He hopes they’ll forgive him for giving up. But he’s not sorry. Life dealt him a shit hand. He will miss the days lazing by the lake his head in Hermione’s lap and Ron’s in his. He might even miss working on homework and listening to Hermione’s rants. He’ll miss flying with Ron and worrying him with his death-defying stunts. He’ll even miss Malfoy, and their constant verbal sparring.

His mind stopped with his breathing. His lungs and heart have stopped. The pain of his broken body is nonexistent now. He feels not happy, but bliss, pure bliss. No more Voldemort, no more pain, no more. He thinks that his mom might have a beautiful smile when they are reunited in death. He can be happy again.

He can’t think anymore.

Is this it?

His chest shudders one last time and Harry thinks, that peeling wallpaper is a pretty colour.

He hopes that wherever he ends up, that he gets to see the sun again.


	2. i wanna see the world when i stop breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His head hurt. Like a low drum beating in his skull. Harry opened his eyes slowly. It felt like ages before light flooded his eyes. Where was he?

His head hurt. Like a low drum beating in his skull. Harry opened his eyes slowly. It felt like ages before light flooded his eyes. Where was he? His mind was drawing a blank. Last thing he could remember, Vernon Dursley was throwing a temper tantrum on his chest. Did he die? He was pretty sure he remembered his chest stopping, he was struggling to-

Harry shook the thoughts, no memories, away and took in his surroundings. He was standing, somehow, in a field of grass. But it feels full to the brim with an unknown energy. Like an incoming storm, it wasn’t uncomfortable or scary. It just was.

The sky was bright but there were no discernible features. No clouds, or birds. There was no noise at all. Not even wind or buzzing insects. If he focused in the distance, he might see three doorways. He could see a rip in what seemed to be reality.

Four figures stepped through the rip. They were all vastly different. The first woman was tall, but not like Hagrid tall. Her dark hair was loose and wild around her face. But not wild enough that it looked messy. Her pale skin was contrasted by the reddest lipstick. She looked like the Morticia Addams he saw on television. She walked, or strutted, with confidence and on a different beat than the others. She held a seductive smirk on her face that invited mystery. She wore a skin tight black dress that ended at her knees. The woman smiled at him, a smile that made him feel like he was her prey.

The woman beside her had a strict, but kind smile. Like Professor McGonagall. She had long white hair in an intricate up-do, but she looked ageless. If it weren’t for her red cheeks he would have thought she was a walking corpse. The only colour on her was the furs she was covered head to toe in. She walked confidently, with her head held high. She stared at him kindly but expectantly like when a professor asked a question and expected an answer. She had a badger walking beside her. She smiled down at the badger for a second when she saw his eyes look down.

The most catching person of the four was the woman beside the kind one. She had an air of calm radiating from her. She had dark hair in a bun and a face made of stone. Like a greek statue. No laugh lines, or any hint of emotion. She held her head level, and walked toward him, her eyes blank. She wore a floor length gown that seemed to glide with her steps. Despite her blank face, she was absolutely beautiful. Like a goddess, or a queen.

Almost hidden behind the three women, was a boy that looked the same age as Harry himself. He smiled mischievously at the others and walked as if he was dancing. He had crooked teeth but somehow that made him cuter. He had curly light brown hair and green eyes, like his. He wore old clothes, dark loose pants and a green tunic. He had a snake curled around his arm and neck. The snakes head poked out of his hair and hissed at him. The boy danced around the three women. The white haired woman smiled down at the boy like he imagines his mother would. The boy reached Harry first and stood in front of his, bouncing on the heels of his bare feet in excitement.

When they all reach him, they stop about 4 feet away from him. The expressionless woman stepped forward from the other three and began speaking calmly.

“Harry James Potter, son of Lily Evans. Your time has come. The Fey Wild welcomes you with open arms. You can choose to embrace Death with peace or live on with the Fey and choose your court,” she walked straight up to his face.

So he was dead. That somehow didn’t shock him. It was a matter of time before he ended up dying. The Dursley’s are finally free of the burden of ‘caring’ for him. He’s not sad, just a little angry that it was Vernon’s temper tantrum that finally took him out. Of course he still wanted to live but at what cost. The stoic woman said that to move on he would find peace. A foreign notion to him. He thought about it, stay and live, or die and find ‘peace’. He looked at the stoic woman again.

“Um, I will choose a court?”

The stoic woman stepped back and began speaking.

“So be it. There are three Fey Courts, the Summer Court, The Winter Court, and the Shadow Court. When you choose your Court you will follow your Court’s advisor. They will bring you to your Hearth. The decision is yours to make, your magic will show you the way. Let the court magic wash over you and you will know. Now, will you choose the Winter Court, among the proud and strong willed,” the white haired woman stepped forward. “And follow the rule of the Winter Queen.”

He felt a cold aura enveloped him and a fierce feeling of calm and unforgiving protectiveness. He saw his fingertips turn blue, it began to spread up his arm. His magic began to fight back and almost fell to the ground in pain. He yelled out before the cold aura crawled back and disappeared all together. The expressionless woman shook her head.

“No, not the Winter Court,” the white haired woman smiled sadly and stepped back. “Will you choose the Shadow Court, among the wild and free. Loyal to none but the Shadow King,” the black haired woman smirked seductively before making an inviting motion with her hand.

An aura of wild and feral magic enveloped him. His fingertips began to turn grey, and like before, began creeping up his arm. Voices whispered in his ear, promising a safe haven and acceptance. He almost gave in to the voices, then the pain began. Like a heart attack, or a knife being dragged down his chest. He clutched his heart and forced the aura away. The black haired woman’s smirk fell for the first time and instead a fierce frown took its place. She stepped back next to the blonde.

“Not the Shadow Court, either. Will you choose the Summer Court, among the happy and passionate Summer Folk. Spend your days with the Summer King,” the young bow stepped forward and whispered to the snake.

It was an aura of stifling heat and of relaxation that enveloped him. He felt happy and at home, not that he has ever had a home. He once thought Hogwarts was his home but it was now tainted with death and anger. His pale fingertips began to turn a dark tan colour. The tan colour began dancing up his body, leaving freckles and silver lines in the shape of snakes, flowers, and suns. He actually fell to his knees this time, but not in pain. He felt pure joy and bliss as the Sun claimed him as her own.

The snake boy grabbed his arm and pulled him up. Harry felt stronger and healthier than ever. His mind was clear and free of any pain, emotional or otherwise. The only feeling left was confusion. The expressionless woman smiled for the first time and ripped open the fabric of reality. She stepped into the rip then disappeared. The others looked unfazed as the white haired woman spoke up.

“We shall meet again, young one.” With that the white haired woman walked through the ice-y door to who knows where. The black haired woman turned around as well with a nod to the boy and walked through the door made of shadows.

The boy, who was still holding his hand, began pulling him to the third door. It was covered in ivy and somehow had little flames coming out of the flowers on the ivy. The boy opened it with a grin.

“Welcome to the Summer Hearth.”


	3. turning blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps this was hard to write and i am vv unsatisfied with it

Ch.3 turning blue

In the Mortal Realm, shit was hitting the fan. A concerned neighbour had called the police with a noise complaint. This lead to Vernon Dursley being tackled to the floor, Petunia Evans Dursley crying and being handcuffed by a police officer. Two paramedics had Harry brought in the ambulance by a stretcher.There were three police cars parked outside the house and news vans. There were reporters speaking to cameras and random citizens watching it like daytime tv.

Eventually six people appeared and spoke to the police officers. The scene was emptied and investigated by the new wizards who appeared.

A man appeared next to the six people. He had shaggy brown hair and a scar across his cheek. He wore dark pants and a light red dress shirt. The man looked at his house and the ambulance with a horrified look in his eyes before disappearing with a crack.

-//-

Remus Lupin has had a hard life, not that he would admit it. At only four years old he was attacked and turned by a rogue werewolf. On every full moon his father would lock him up, forcing him to hate a part of himself. For every Christmas he would ask to be normal. When he got his Hogwarts letter at 11, he cried with joy. There he met his closest friends and brothers. He made his own pack and finally had acceptance and he began the journey to finnaly merge with his wolf. But then his pack was wiped out in one night. Along with his cub and mate.

The following year was the hardest he ever had to live. He had to deal with the sudden severing of pack bonds and had the knowledge that his mate betrayed the pack. He is ashamed to admit that he tried to kill himself. It was only in inner wolf that saved him from death. And even then he still lived in squalor.

But then Dumbledore offered him a teaching position at Hogwarts. He got to see his cub again. Moony howled with happiness. But Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban. His mate had escaped. His wolf was ecstatic. But he was angry. Then he saw him again. And suddenly he had his mate back. Moony could feel something different about him but Remus chose to ignore it.

It was 4:39 pm when he got the news. Something had happened to the blood wards at Privet Drive, they were broken. Which means that either Petunia Dursley was dead or Harry was. He was praying to all known deities that it was Petunia who died and not his cub. The howling of his wolf told him it was Harry but when he arrived at Privet Drive to see the ambulance drive off in a hurry and Petunia and Vernon were being loaded into the back of a cop car. And Harry was nowhere to be seen.

A crushing sense of dread filled him. He quickly apparated to the nearest hospital. After 3 other hospitals he found the one where Harry was taken to. He saw the cop from before that was at the Dursley’s. He ran through the hospital doors and ran to the nearest desk. The nurse looked up from the computer on the desk.

“Hello, I’m lo- I’m looking for the boy that was brought in from the ambulance about 5 or ten minutes ago. He has uh black hair and has green eyes,” the secretary nodded and got up from her desk. She started speaking to the nearest doctor. Her face went from pleasent and calm to sad. And he instantly new that Harry was dead. The doctor looked at him and began to make his way over.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but despite all our efforts, he died on the ambulance. If you would like to see him, Nurse Abbott can bring you to him.” The nurse began walking with him. After 15 long minutes they ended up in the basement in front a door that said mortuary. Nurse Abbott opened the door. The room smelled of death and antiseptic. She walked to one of the many metallic cupboards and opened the furthest one. She pulled out a long tray that had a white sheet over a bod- no it was Harry.

“I will leave you for a moment.”

This was his worst nightmare. He walked to the side of the tray. It smelled like Harry. The sheet that was covering the body was pulled back to show his face. Oh, oh Merlin. It was definitely Harry, his cub. He let out a hushed sob. Harry was uncharacteristically pale. He had cuts and bruises on his face. Remus began sobbing into his hand.

He stayed there for who knows how long. Crying and just cradling Harry. He almost didn’t notice the change in the air. But Moony did. His head snapped behind him at the sound of people arriving.

It was three people, well two women and a boy no older than Harry is- was. The boy smiled and wales forward in an odd dance sort of thing. He went to stop him when one of the women spoke, it was the dark haired woman.

“Don’t move, Wolf.” The blonde beside her sighed and shook her head.

“We are here to help him,” she put a gentle hand on his shoulder. He shook out of it and growled at the three. The boy grinned and disappeared in a flash of light. The dark haired woman spoke again.

“Relax, Wolf, we are here to bring him back to his Hearth. You can speak to your child Queen if you have something to say.” She spokewith a harsh but seductive lull in her voice. The blonde growled at the other woman.

“Have care for how you speak of the Queen, Lyrca,” the blonde said.

“She’s no Queen of mine, Helga,” the black haired woman, Lyrca, spat out and glared at the blonde. The boy who disappeared earlier reappeared beside the blonde with Harry’s body in his arms. Remus ran toward him and reached for Harry.

“I’m sorry, but this is for Harry’s own good. He will be fine, you might even get to see him again. In the end it’s his choice.” The boy disappeared again in a flash of light. Lyrca and Helga disappeared as well but with a flash of shadows and snow respectively.

Remus stood there shocked, he looked at the door and to the now empty tray. He apparated away quickly. He arrived in front of Grimmauld Place and entered in silence.

—/HJG/—

It was a normal day for Hermione Jean Granger. She got up from bed, but on her jeans and her favourite purple striped shirt. She went downstairs and greeted her father with a kiss on the cheek and made up some instant sugar free oatmeal with strawberries on top. After breakfast she put on her running shoes and went to pick up her mail at the mailbox. She sorted the letters as she walked back to her house. She read her latest book until lunch. After lunch, her father took her to the beach to have some outside time. She returned home and did some homework for a while.

She was watching the telly with her parents when she found out what had happened that day. It was the local news station covering a story. The headline said: Family in Surrey Arrested for Abuse and Murder. The news lady spoke in front of a suburban house and 3 cop cars.

“At 2:30 this afternoon, a concerned neighbour called the police, reporting yelling and sounds of a fight at Privet Drive. Police arrived on scene to see Petunia and Vernon Dursley beating their orphan nephew. Their nephew was left orphaned at the age of one and left in the care of the Dursley’s. He was brought to the hospital with extensive bleeding to the head and multiple injuries from being beaten. It is unknown whether he has survived his injuries. Police have found multiple pieces of evidence of prolonged abuse and neglect.” The news lady reported and the news segment went back to the two hosts. Hermione got up as fast as possible and rang Ron’s number. He answered on the 2nd ring.

“Hullo? Hermione, is that you?”

“Yes, have you heard anything from Harry. Something horrible has happened.” She saw her parents look at her in worry and she wrote on the paper to look up the hospital’s phone number.

“What happened? I haven’t heard anything from him but I will ask my mum and dad. They might know,” he said quickly.

“Oh Ron it’s bad, like really bad. I was watching the telly and the news said that- oh that the Dursley’s were arrested for abuse and Harry was brought to the hospital!” Hermione almost yelled the last part. Her parents were looking up the hospitals in Surrey.

“Fuck. Ok, Hermione don’t worry Harry will be fine, he always is. I will check with Dad and hopefully he will learn something. Although be prepared for someone to pick you up. I will call you back soon,” he spoke quickly into the phone and hung up.

The next few minutes were spent calling multiple hospitals to find Harry. After the fifth hospital they found out that Harry was pronounced dead. Hermione dropped the phone in shock. She felt her heart break. The air around her thickened and the phone exploded in her hand. She could hear her parents trying to calm her but it just didn’t register. Her vision went black and she passed out.

—/HJP/—

The sight behind the door left him breathless. It was light and fire and live and acceptance and everything Harry could ever want. It was was beautiful and wild. This is magic in its purest form.

The Summer Hearth was more magical than anything he had seen before. Not Hogwarts or Diagon Alley. Through the door held pure magic. There were no furniture or objects, just a place surrounded by the same aura that he felt earlier, but tenfold. The aura held a promise. A promise of power and family. A promise of freedom and love. He closed his eyes and just relaxed in the aura. Any pain and worries that he still held were soothed.

He felt like he lost consciousness for a while, because everything blurred. He had no sense of time. All the pain from the past year was dulled to the point it felt like everything happened hundreds of years ago. All he felt was happiness and love. It was like time had ceased to exist. Like he was floating in an altered dimension. One where it felt like seconds had past and centuries.

He could feel something change in him. A pressure he never noticed lessened, his cord began to grow. It kept growing intil it enveloped him completely, like a cocoon. His skin felt like it was on fire, every inch began to tingle and heat up. His eyes burned and he grabbed them. It felt like ages before his core began to fold in on itself and pack into his body. The aura that surrounded the room snuggled tightly in his chest. He smiled so hard it hurt his cheeks.

The boy yelled out in excitement and laughed while he grabbed his arm and began spinning him in a dance. He instinctively joined in the joyful dance-spins. They spun for ages and tumbled around. He felt like he was on top of the world. The boy laughed goofily and smacked his lips on his. Harry laughed and kissed him back, too happy to protest.

“I have never felt like this before!” He said laughing happily. And it was true. Never before had Harry felt this happy. Never had he felt this euphoria or sense of belonging. The boy laughed. He put one arm behind his back and the other behind his knees and lifted him up. He was about to ask what he was doing when the previous euphoria left him. He felt weaker than when he was literally dying. His eyes drooped while he struggled to stay awake.

“Relax, Harry. You’re safe. Sleep now.” Harry’s eyes closed and he quickly lost consciousness.


End file.
